The Sea Lion, part 6

Three weeks after the winds ceased to blow, the sea lion had a dream. Now, as I told you before there were other nights in which he had dreamed of the sea, but those were long ago and nearly forgotten. Even still, the ocean that filled his dreams this night was so beautiful and clear, so vast and deep, it was as if he were seeing it for the very first time. The sunlight glittered on its surface, and as he dived, the waters all around him shone like an emerald. If he swam quite deep it turned to jade, cool and dark and mysterious. But he was never frightened, not at all. For I must tell you that, in all his dreams of the sea, he had never found himself in the company of other sea lions. This night there were many round about him, diving and turning, spinning and twirling. They were playing. Oh, how he hated to wake from that wonderful dream. The tears running down his face were the first wet thing he had felt in three weeks. But he did not pause even to wipe them away, he did not pause, in fact, for anything at all. He set his face to the east, and he began to walk as best a sea lion can.

“Where are you going?” asked the tortoise.

“I’m going to find the sea”

The End.

(John Eldredge)

The Sea Lion, part 5

It was in May that the wind began to blow. The sea lion had grown used to wind, and at first he did not pay much heed to it at all. Years of desert life had taught him to turn his back in the direction from which the wind came, and cover his eyes with his flippers so that the dust would not get in. Eventually the winds would always pass, but not this time… Day and night it came, howling across the Barren Lands, there was nothing to stop it’s fury, nothing to even slow it down. For forty days and forty nights the wind blew. And then, just as suddenly as it begun, it stopped. The sea lion lifted himself to have a look around… He could hardly believe his eyes. Every single leaf had been stripped from his tree, the branches that remained with only a twig or two left on them looked like an old scarecrow. And I do not need to tell you that there was no longer any shade from which to hide. But worse than this, much worse indeed, was what the sea lion saw next. The water hole was completely dry.

(John Eldredge)

Te Sea Lion, part 4

The sea lion was not entirely alone in those parts. For it was there he met the tortoise. Now this tortoise was an ancient creature, so weathered by his life in the barren lands that at first, the sea lion mistook him for a rock! He told the tortoise of his plight, hoping that this wise one might be able to help him.

“Perhaps,” the tortoise mused, “ this is the sea”.

His eyes appeared to be shut against the brightness of the sun, but he was watching the sea lion very closely. The sea lion swept his flippers once against his side, gliding to the other side of the water hole and back,

“I don’t know,” he said, “it isn’t very deep”

“Isn’t it?”

“Somehow, I thought the sea would be broader, deeper, at least, I hoped so.”

“You must learn to be happy here” the tortoise told him one day, “for it is unlikely you shall ever find this sea of yours.”

Deep in his old and shrivelled heart, the tortoise envied the sea lion and his sea.

“But I belong to the sea. We were made for each other…”

“Perhaps, but you have been gone so long now, the sea has probably forgotten you.”

This thought had never occurred to the sea lion, but it was true, he had been gone for a long, long time…

“But if this is not my home, then how can I ever feel at home here?” the sea lion asked.

“You will, in time.”

The tortoise appeared to be squinting, his eyes a thin slit.

“I have seen the sea, and it is no better than what you have found here”

“You have seen the sea?!?”

“Yes. Come closer” whispered the tortoise. “and I will tell you a secret. I am a not a tortoise, I am a sea turtle. But I left the sea of my own accord, many years ago, in search of better things. If you stay with me, I will tell you stories of my adventures.”

The stories of the ancient tortoise were enchanting, and soon cast their spell upon the sea lion. As weeks passed into months, his memory of the sea faded,

“The desert,” whispered the tortoise “is that is, or was, or shall ever be.”

When the sun grew fierce and burned his skin, the sea lion would hide in the shade of the tree, listening to the tales woven by the tortoise. When the dry winds cracked his flippers, and filled his eyes with dust, the sea lion would retreat to the waterhole.

And so the sea lion remained, living his days between waterhole and tree.

The sea no longer filled his dreams.

(John Eldredge)

The Sea Lion, part 3

The sea lion loved his rock, and he even loved waiting night after night for the sea breezes that might come. Especially he loved the dreams those memories would stir. But as you well know, even the best of dreams cannot go on, and in the morning when the sea lion woke, he was still in the barren lands. Sometimes he would close his eyes and try to fall back asleep. It never seemed to work, for the sun was always very bright. Eventually it became too much for him to bear. He began to visit his rock, only on occasion. “I have too much to do” he told himself. “I cannot waste my time just idling about”. He really did not have so much to do, the truth of it was: waking so far from home was such a disappointment he did not want to have those wonderful dreams anymore. The day finally came when he stopped going to his rock altogether, and he no longer lifted his nose to the wind when the sea breezes blew…

(John Eldredge)

The Sea Lion, part 2

Had you journeyed in those days through the barren lands you might have seen the sea lion for yourself. Quite often, in the evening he would go and sit upon his favourite rock, a very large boulder which lifted him off the burning sand and allowed him a view of the entire country. There he would remain for hours into the night, silhouetted against the sky, and on the best nights, when the wind shifted toward the east, a faint smell of salt air would come to him on the breeze, and he would close his eyes and imagine himself once more at the sea. When he lay himself down to sleep, he would dream of a vast deep ocean. Twisting and turning, diving and twirling he would swim and swim and swim. When he woke, he thought he heard the sound of breakers; the sea was calling to him…

(John Eldredge)

The Sea Lion, part 1

Once upon a time, there was a sea lion who had lost the sea. He lived in a country known as the Barren Lands. High on a plateau, far from any coast, it was a place so dry and dust that it could only be called a desert. A kind of coarse grass grew in patches, here and there, and a few trees were scattered across the horizon. But mostly, it was dust. And sometimes wind, which together, make one very thirsty. Of course, it must seem strange to you that such a beautiful creature should wind up in a desert at all. He was, mind you a sea lion. But things like this do happen. How the sea lion came to the barren lands, no-one could remember, it all seemed so very long ago. So long, in fact, that it seemed as though he had always been there. Not that he could belong in such an arid place, how could that be? He was after all a sea lion. But, as you know, once you have lived so long in a certain spot, no matter how odd, you come to think of it as home.

(John Eldredge)

mySpace?

Hi everyone,

Haven't been here in a while (forgot how to get in!!). I've spent some time over the last few days checking out mySpace... I'm liking the way it works, and to be honest, I'm liking the breakdown of barriers between bands and mere people: it's a strange feeling the I have my face on a website for bands I love, and that they (or their team of mySpace gurus) have looked at my space. It's also good to be able to keep up with peoples news, read their bizarre questionaires (adam!), and steal their friends (also, check out some of retrofect's friends - interesting bunch!!!).

It has that friendsreunited feel about it too, where you can looked names of people you used to know and check out how they're doing, or not, as the case maybe (it is saddening when you come across somebody who had so much potential that seems to be falling into a bad way, makes me realise how far i've come, and how it could still be if i had taken some hard choices..)


Kinda sums up how I'm feeling at the moment, like the world is rushing by, everythings a bit big and scary. Within two months, I'll be married, be living in a new house, learning to live out in the big bad world as a proper functioning couple. But, you know what, I got a helmet, and I feel safe and confident. so much so that i can now see the 'big bad' world as something to right stuck into, to enjoy, to influence and to try to change for the better. I may not have the same dreams for local community and youth as many of my friends, but I have been feeling the burdon of the glory of the cross weighing on my heart, and I feel a space a for to try to live the gospel in my own sphere. Be it the world of construction, science, academia, or who knows what, boy do they need it...

I'm trying for a new job at present, for many reasons: to get out from my current job (from the shadow of an overbearing manager and lazy supervisor), to push into something new, to be able to live a resource to my church, and to be Jesus to a greater range of people. Oh yeah, and a company car!!! So prayer for that would be much appreciated, it's certainly not a given, over 40 people have applied, I don't really have the experience needed, and even if i dont get it, i'll keep on pushing other directions...

Anyway, just to finish off, check out Iain Archer, known of him for a while, he's involved with Snow Patrol and the Reindeer Section, and also Duke Special (remember him Jon?). Just bought Flood the Tanks from iTunes. pretty cool...

Good Bless

PS, i just figured out how to put in links!!!

Ctrl Alt Freak

Didn't quite make it to January, as the somwhat Spartan drizzle of blogs seem to arrive once a month, nothing!

Oh well, good thing I made no resolution...

There's something been brought to my attention in the last few days/weeks/years but for some reason it spoke to me really loudly today. probably because i have come to some realisation that the way i have been acting is contrary to God's Tapestry. It's confesssin' time boys...

I am a Control Freak. I always remember being this way. probably a fairly typical symptom for the child that never developed from primary play. But somehow, tonight, it seems totally transparent. It permeates throughout every pore of my life, from the areas where it gives me respect and sucess to those where it hurts me, the people i love, and most importantly, the almighty God to whom i have promised to dedicate my life to. My heart says "Here I am: Take Me", but my mind gently pipes up with "Let's plan this out - remember Plan - Do - Check - Action - Plan". Well, I'm sorry Mr Stockbridge, life does not revolve around management strategies.

It's also about winning. I tend to figure, if i can control something enough, usualy to the exclusion of anyone else. then I will win. not the prize, don't tend to win them often (crap at sports and average academically) but i get the job done, and that seems the important thing. Just getting the job done. Sound ok? maybe, but accepting loss or losing control just makes me see red.

Does the world end if it doesn't get done on time? of course not. Does God still love you when you screw up? of course He does, maybe he even shows His for you more when you do. It's easy to forget, in this sucess driven world, that God's love is a parent's love for a child. And children screw up all the time, that's all part of the process (and some of the charm in my mind). We're going to screw up, that doesn't mean that we should never try. But it's the getting up, brushing down, and carrying on running that's important. We should all learn from our mistakes, that's why God let's them happen. But if we turn that around, it shows the vitality of mistakes, they are fundamentall to life. That we need mistakes to learn. not always, but sometimes. I'm being really vague here, and that's just how i feel.

What comes from this fairly obvious statement then? Well for me it leads me to think of trust and fear. Not sure why I fear not suceeding, and hence why i am so controlling at times, why i cant cope if things aren't going my way. Maybe that will come. but this is more of a declaration, and a prayer. That i can let God into this part of my life, to find it in me to trust Him. Trust is something i really struggle with and this comes from the fact that if i'm in control, then i don't need to trust. That's not to say I dont trust, it just doesn't come naturally at times.

All this comes at a time of feeling quite lonely: (this room, full of stuff, just seems cold and lifeless without Sam here, and I miss her terribly this evening). Of great excitement towards the wedding, but of also some fear of the unknown. But also a the feelings of love and duty towards my future wife, and of stupid helplessness when i realise there is nothing practical i can do to help with her fears and pressures that weigh on her at the moment. Somepart of me thinks that it's not enough to love and pray for her, that i need to strategize and fix. Rubbish. who am I to second guess God? I need to fall?
Ben,
Just give up. Stop holding on. Let go. there is nothing to fear. open you eyes. Check out that view, it's beautiful. Enjoy the ride. save your energy. Do what God asks you to.
Worship Him in a spirit of freedom. Let Him carry you (C'mon, He created the universe and you're what? 11 stone. don't be so damn proud).
For those who hope in the Lord will renew their strengh, they will fly on wings like eagles.

Wake up.